Why I'm Not Married — Even Though That Was not My "Plan"

I remember that toward the end of high school, I made the plan to get engaged by 26 and married by 28.

I Was Held At Gunpoint. Here's What I Wish Everyone Knew About Trauma

Samantha Messersmith

Nine years ago, I was in my second year at Cal State Sacramento and my roommate and I were heading to a friend's apartment for a New Year's celebration.

Whenever we left the house, I made sure to take my keys and purse, just in case we got separated. But that night, when I went to grab my purse off its knob in the hallway, a voice inside told me not to take it.

The top 10 things everyone should know to be successful in life

I wish someone had told me all of this when I was 15. I would NOT have joined that cult.

I wish someone had told me all of these things when I was 30. I would not have X (I have to say "X" because I don't want to hurt anyone).

I wish someone had told me these things when I was 32, 40, and 45.

I hope someone will tell me these things when I'm 50, 60, and 80.

I honestly hope I die in my sleep before I'm 80.

1. Life changes fast

Don't hang on to it. Just go where it takes you. Don't try to control it.

The Universe just spent 13.8 billion years creating you. There's nothing you can do to try to control it.

Don't try to have a single career. To have a "purpose". To "figure out what I want to do".

Just do the best you can each day. If you don't know what that means, you have to figure that out for yourself.

If anybody tells you what it means, then they don't know what it means.

2. Experiences > goods

Don't buy goods. Don't buy a house. Don't buy a fancy anything.

Buy (or have) good experiences.

This is how neurochemicals work. You have 4 or 5 that make you happy (oxytocin, dopamine, etc). They get into your brain, they trigger happiness, and they metabolize very quickly so the happiness goes away and you need more.

When you buy something nice, the neurochemicals spike, and then go away.

When you have an experience, you have days (or months) of anticipation for the experience.

Then you have the experience.

Then you have the memories that can last forever.

That's a lot of happy chemicals all the time bursting through your head.

If you just use this one rule, you'll have a happy life.

3. Listen

You already know all the words in your head.

You only get something new if you listen to the words that are coming out of someone else's head.

Always look to add to who you are instead of subtract. When you talk you subtract. When you listen, you add.

4. Pretend everyone is going to die tomorrow

People say, as if it were good advice, "Live life like it's your last day?"

I'm not even sure what that means. Should I have a party every day? Should I eat cake all day long. Because if I knew tomorrow I was going to die then I would eat cake all day today.

Do this instead: Live life like it's the last day for EVERYONE ELSE.

Imagine now you see someone. You know it's their last day but they don't.

So you will treat them really well and feel compassion for them. And then they will treat you well.

What a nice virtuous cycle. One that helps everyone and makes you happy.

Oh, and it's ok to eat cake sometimes. Eat what your heart wants.

5. Politics, government, news is completely unimportant

Congress makes minor laws that lobbyists bribe them for.

But you can make a child happy. And Google is making cars that drive by themselves. And writers write poetry, and painters make beautiful art.

Do something stupid and ridiculous that you love. Do something today that tomorrow people will say is great.

The news will never do that. Art and innovation will. We still remember art from 3000 years ago. But we don't remember what laws passed that day. Or what the Kardashians were doing.

6. The 5x5 rule

a. You're the average of the 5 people you spend time with.
b. You're the average of the 5 thoughts you most have.
c. You're the average of the 5 types of food you eat.
d. You're the average of the 5 things you are most grateful for.
e. You are the average of the 5 things you are reading today.

7. Autonomy

Always take the job, pursue the life, have the friends, that allow you to have as much freedom as possible.

I asked Nassim Taleb on my podcast what job should one have. He said, "night watchman, because nobody is around to bother you and you can pursue all your dreams on the side."

8. Food, sleep, move

Every cell in our body changes every seven years. What are the cells made out of? The food you eat.

I've seen this happen with my own eyes. I watched someone who only eats good foods and never eats junk. Over the past 7 years she has developed a glow. She stands out in a crowd.

It doesn't matter what you look like. If you eat well (and you know what that means) then you will get that glow.

Sleep: We know one basic thing: at night when we are tired our brains are not that productive. So what do we do? We sleep.

Don't fall for "sleep porn" — that the less sleep you have, the more productive.

It's the reverse.

Sleep rejuvenates the brain. If you sleep 8 hours instead of 2 then your brain is 100x more productive during it's peak time of the day (about 2 hours after you wake up).

That 100x compounds into amazing.

And movement. Your body depends on oxygen circulating. It circulates better when you move. Walk 20 hours a week.

9. Don't time travel

We do things. We do more things. We do lots of things. And then ...

• We regret what we did (time travel to the past)
• We are anxious about the future (time travel to the future)

Anxiety never solves the future's problems but will always drain your strength today.

When I find myself time traveling sometimes I stop and look at rooftops.

Architects save their beautiful flourishes for the rooftops, when the building is done. This brings me back to the present.

Then I think of at least one thing I'm grateful for. Gratitude, regret, and anxiety can't live in the brain at the same time.

10. The impression technique

If you want to impress someone, if you want to be noticed, if you want to make a friend, if you want to feel creative, do this:

Write down ten ideas a day. Sometimes ... write down 10 ideas to help someone else and send it to them. With ZERO expectations back.

Do this a lot. It exercises your creativity until you become an idea machine.

It also gets people noticing you and calling you. And when you have no expectations you will find your expectations constantly exceeded.

I do all of the above. And every six months my life changes so drastically I can hardly believe it.

When someone asks me now, "Where will you be in six months?"

I say, "Someplace amazing."

James Altucher

IN THE ARMS OF A WOMAN NOT MY WIFE

A budding preacher wanted to learn to preach. He was told that a guest speaker was in town speaking at a church. This speaker was know to be able to grab is audience's attention with his opening sentence. The preacher went to hear him.

Japanese scientists say they've found the key that determines how happy you are

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Photo: Shuttershock

Julian Ryall

If you're happy and you know it, it's because you have an enlarged precuneus.

A team of Japanese scientists has determined that the amount of grey matter within the precuneus - a portion of the brain at the upper rear of the right cerebral hemisphere - determines how happy a person is.

Leukemia's Lionheart: The Fight of a Lifetime

Mel Mann

Mel was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia in January 1995 and given three years to live. The only possible hope for survival was a bone marrow transplant. Despite numerous marrow drives and adding thousands of people to the marrow registry, he never found a donor. Three years after diagnosis, he entered the phase 1 clinical trial of Gleevec (imatinib) at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center. Over twenty years later, he is their longest living Gleevec patient. He volunteers with various cancer organizations and continues to spread hope to others.

SOCCER RATS

President Mubarak of Egypt could not sleep, so he went to see his personal physician. "What happened when you try to sleep?" asked the doctor.
   "Every time I go to my bedroom, I see all these rats. They are all running about on the floor, playing soccer. They keep me awake all night."
   "Mr. President, I think you are imagining things," the doctor advised, "You are working too hard. Why don't you delegate your work to your cabinet ministers, and come back and see me again next week?"
   "The following wee, Mr. Mubarak returned, looking worse than ever. "What happened?" the doctor asked, "Did you follow my advice?"
   "Yes, I did. I delegated my work to my cabinet ministers and they made a mess of everything, and I had to do everything all over. Every night when I go to my bedroom, I see all these rats running around on the floor, playing soccer."
    "In that case, I will have to prescribe some medication." The doctor handed the president a bottle of tablets. "Take two of these. They are very powerful and will know you out. Take them just before you go to bed."
    "The president asked, "is it okay if I take them tomorrow?"
         "But I thought you want to sleep?"
   "No, doctor, you don't understand. Tonight, the rats are playing the finals and I want to know the score."

If you really can't sleep, you may have to try medication. But please don't stay up watching rats play soccer - David Wong

ANTIBIOTIC APOCALYPSE: IT'S HERE

This time it’s for real. The weaking impact of antibiotics threatens to send much of modern medicine back to the dark ages. Source: Supplied

FORGET the rise of the machines. The rise of the superbug is happening right now — and our last defence has just begun to collapse. The world is on the brink of an antibiotic apocalypse.

THE TRUTH ABOUT SLEEPING PILLS

 

If you often struggle to get some shut-eye, you're not alone — many Americans suffer from insomnia on a regular basis.

And a significant percentage of them are now routine users of sleeping pills as a result. In fact, at least one in eight adults who have trouble sleeping use sedative medications, according to the CDC. And the number of prescriptions for nonbenzodiazepine sedative hypnotics — a category of sleep drug — increased 30-fold between 1994 and 2007.

But is it safe to be taking these sleeping pills?

FOOLISH WISDOM

During the French Revolution, three men were arrested for conspiracy with monarchy and convicted for crimes against the people. They were sentenced to death by the guillotine. One was a priest, one was a farmer and one was a carpenter.

WHEN ENGLISH IS NOT THE FIRST LANGUAGE - very hilarious

1. Tokyo Hotel: It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please not to read notis.

2. Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

3. Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

4. Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

5. Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

6. Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

7. Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

8. Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety if entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

9. Moscow hotel opposite Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russians and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

DIRECTION IS EVERYTHING - think about it a little while

A young man heard that war had broken out at the borders. He took his sword, mounted his horse, and set off to join his compatriots to defend his country. As he was racing through a narrow pass in the mountain, an old man stood in his way.
               "Where are you going in such a hurry?" he asked.
               "War has broken out! I am off to fight for my country! Out of my way!" the young man shouted.
               "How do you know you will fight for your country?" the old man insisted.
               "My heart is brave, my sword is sharp and my horse is fast!" the young man boasted.
        "Young man, your heart may be brave, your sword may be sharp, and your horse may be fast," the old man answered, "but the war is in the north, and you are riding towards the south."

In such a situation, direction is everything. Courage, skill and speed mean absolutely nothing - if the direction is wrong.

- Make them laugh

THE SEARCH FOR WISDOM

A young man wanted to find himself. He sought out a famous guru at an ashram, and asked him to mentor him. "come back tomorrow," the guru said, "and I will tell you what to do."

The next day, the young man showed up. "Go to the village square and stand there with your hands raised to the sky. Do this for one hour." The man did as he was told.

The next day he came to see the guru. He was told, "Go to the village square and stand there with your hands raised to the sky. Do this for one hour."

The third day, the guru told him the same thing. This happened for a whole week. The young man was getting impatient and frustrated.
                       "why do you keep asking me to go and stand in the square with hands raised? I am         beginning to feel like I am a fool."

The guru replied, 'Well, you want to know yourself, didn't you? That's not bad for just one week of lessons."

Such seems to be the stuff of Eastern wisdom. Perhaps, the first lesson we need to learn in life is that we are fools. If we do not recognise our lack, how can we begin to acquire wisdom? 

- David Wong

DON'T WORRY!

A man told his friend, "I've finally solved my problem of worrying."
"How so?" his friend ask.
"I've hired someone to do the worrying for me."
"That's interesting. How much do you pay him?"
"I pay him $100 a day."
"A hundred dollars a day! Can you afford it?"
"That's for him to worry, not me."

MORE LAUGHTER

A sceptical teacher said to a little girl in the class, "you mean you believe all those things written in the Bible?" "Yes I do," she replied. 

"you mean, even the story about a man who was swallowed by a whale and came out of it alive?" "Yes I do," she replied. 

"How can it be so?" 

"I don't know", she said, "but I will ask him when I see him in heaven." 

"And what if he went to hell?" the teacher mocked. 

"Then you ask him," she replied.

WRAP UP YOUR DAY WITH LAUGHTER

Raju boarded a train at Chennai on its way to Mumbai. He occupied the upper bunk of the cabin. Halfway on the journey, the train made a stop. Raju got out to stretch his legs and have a cup of tea. When he returned, he stepped into the wrong train that was on its way from Mumbai back to Chennai.

As he entered his cabin, he saw Vijay sitting in the lower bunk. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I'm going to Chennai," Vijay said. "That's interesting. I am going to Mumbai." Vijay said, "Is this not the wonder of modern technology? Here we are on the same train - the upper bunk is going to Mumbai, and the lower bunk to Chennai!"

"I SURVIVED OVARIAN CANCER THANKS TO BODY+SOUL"

Rosalie Andrew, 67, was living with ovarian cancer but didn’t know it, until a body+soul article prompted her to investigate what she thought was a tummy condition. As told to Beverley Hadgraft

WHAT SIZE 12 LOOKS LIKE

These four women prove that good health comes in all different shapes.

 

body+soul speaks to four different women sporting a healthy size 12 physique.

8 MOST IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT IVF YOU NEED TO KNOW

A woman bearing a child is not a matter of course, but a small wonder. Many factors must come together at the right time so that a new life can come into existence. As an estimate, every 10th couple in their middle age is not able to have children. Many of these affected couples go through a nerve-wracking and time of uncertainty, in which they consider the possible methods of the modern reproductive medicine to fulfill their desire to have children . The in-vitro fertilization is one of those methods. Read the 8 most important facts about the prospects, workflow and the risks of IVF treatment:

A BRAZILIAN MAN 'FALLS' OFF FROM A CRUISE SHIP

A MAN has fallen from a cruise ship in the Caribbean despite the frantic efforts by other passengers to save him.

Ebola Survivor, Dr. Ada Igonoh Delivered of a Baby Girl

Photo: Vanguard

BEER THAT KILLED 75 IN MOZAMBIQUE BREWED WITH TOXIC FLOUR

Maputo - A homemade beer that killed 75 drinkers at a funeral in Mozambique earlier this year was brewed with contaminated flour, health authorities said Wednesday, ruling out deliberate poisoning.

19 SECOND BREATHING TECHNIQUE INDUCES SLEEP 'ALMOST INSTANTLY'

The many pressures of life have contributed to a veritable epidemic of insomnia. People young and old, rich and poor everywhere have problems getting to sleep at night. Because the relentless stresses of post-modern life constitute the primary cause, insomnia does not seem to discriminate against any particular demographic … except one.

MARIJUANA KILLS CANCER CELLS, ADMITS THE U.S NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE

National legalization of marijuana may be drawing a smidgeon closer. The National Cancer Institute (NCI), one of the federal government sponsored agencies, has just updated the FAQs on its website to include recent studies on marijuana showing that it can and has killed cancer cells.

100 SAMPLES OF COFFEE FOUND TO CONTAIN CARCINOGENIC MYCOTOXINS

That morning cup of coffee gives you pep, but a new study found that it might also be giving you mycotoxins, toxic metabolites produced by fungi. Since mycotoxins are carcinogenic to humans, do we now need to worry that a steaming hot pot of coffee is killing us?

C’mon now. Not our coffee!

ARE ESSENTIAL OILS SAFE?

Most essential oils are safe and free of adverse side effects when used properly. However, as with any substance you are introducing into your body, it is important to use them intelligently. We recommend that you never eat or drink essential oils. You should pay attention to the following factors.

HOW TO CHOOSE AND USE ESSENTIAL OILS

The essential oil that you choose will depend on the purpose—do you want it to help elevate your mood or do you need something to treat a burn? There is no “laundry list” that specifies which essential oil is used to treat which health condition. Instead, you need to be proactive about doing research and talking with qualified individuals.

A good place to start is to get a book about therapeutic aromatherapy. There are many good books available and you will be able to find one that matches your needs.

Be sure to pay attention to cautions for each oil and application method. We provide some examples in this section, but it is important to dilute the oils properly, consider your individual reactions, and watch closely for adverse effects.

How Essential Oils work

Essential oils enter the body in three ways. They can be:

•    Applied to the skin

•    Inhaled

•    Ingested

How does skin application work?

STUDY FINDS THYME OIL DESTROYS OVER 90% OF BREAST CANCER CELLS

There is a myriad of natural foods and compounds that have been studied for their disease-preventing and even disease-treating abilities. While the pharmaceutical industry pushes patented drugs that cause numerous side-effects, researchers are unveiling how we can use nature’s gifts to prevent and treat ailments ranging from diabetes, to arthritis, to even cancer. For example, Chinese researchers have shown how oils as simple as chamomile or thyme can kill up to 90+ percent of breast cancer cells.

20 FAKE IMAGES THAT FOOLED THE WORLD

In recent times, powerful computer software such as Adobe Photoshop and GIMP have made it possible to manipulate and alter images. The vast majority of the time, these changes to pictures are not to deceive but rather to create pieces of artwork or remove unnecessary details and even to clean up photographs. This makes them important tools for journalists, designers and artists.

However, they can also be abused to create amazing images with the intention of fooling as many people as possible into believing that the image is actually real. This isn’t a completely modern phenomenon either, analysis of many historical photographs have shown that they have been altered in some way to make them appear more iconic or striking. This article looks at some of the manipulated images that have fooled thousands, and even millions, of people around the world.

SPIRITUALITY: 1 0F 9 KEYS TO 'RADICAL REMISSION' OF CANCER CASES

One's spirituality has a great deal to do with one's healing, a study says. (iStock photo )

Every year, a small number of terminal cancer patients experience what doctors call "spontaneous remission"—recovery without a clear medical explanation. Few research studies have examined the phenomenon, which remains a mystery to conventional doctors.

Made-in-Aba shoes go global as foreign investors show interest

Local artisans manufacturing shoes, bags, belts and other leather products product could soon be transformed and compared to international products.

This is because some Brazilian investors have shown interest in their products and are planning to make available to them modern equipments that will improve the quality of their products.

HOW YOU COULD UNKNOWINGLY BE SUPPORTING THE SEX TRADE INDUSTRY

You may be comforting yourself with the thought "What are the odds? I'm sure it's unlikely that any of my mutual funds have invested in these or other sex-related businesses." (iStockPhoto | Creatista)

A prominent pornography website created something of a stir recently when they announced a contest whose prize would be a $25,000 college scholarship. Contestants were asked to submit a video on the topic "How do you strive to make others happy?"

In announcing the contest, the company said "We work hard to help make millions of people feel happy every single day ... we would like to help support the recipient of (our scholarship) to realize their goal of doing the same." A company executive added that they hope the winner will share their "sex positive belief system."

"Feminist and sexual-violence groups quickly pounced on the scholarship, criticizing it as a way to get young women unable to afford college to make sexually explicit videos of themselves," according to TIME magazine.